Don’t bother investing in nice things until your kids are older. I’m not sure what the magical age of not destroying stuff is yet, but buying nice stuff when you have little kids basically makes you a glutton for punishment.
When you decide to have kids (especially 4) you better not expect to have a clean or quiet house.
I was raised by a single mother. What does the media/popular culture constantly say about single moms? They’re poor. So seeing my mom shop at discount stores was all the proof I needed to believe 100% that we were barely scraping by.
As far as conditions and phases of life go, Momopause is a blessing for me. It’s making me a better person, and I can only hope my daughter feels the same when she faces the change.