My husband and I just celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary this weekend! Sometimes I feel like, “Wow, it’s already been seven years?” and other times I think, “That’s it?!”
A lot has happened in these seven years, and it made me think about what I wish I had known before getting married. So, if I could hop in a time machine and talk to myself a little over seven years ago, this is what I would say. (And there’s a little video of us at the end!)
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1. You have no reason to be nervous.
I’m a bit of a commitment phobe. Any type of schedule or restriction tends to make me feel somewhat anxious and uncomfortable so when my husband and I got engaged it was as if someone flipped the, “It’s time to freak out now” switch. We went from rarely ever having any type of conflict to me feeling constantly anxious and frustrated about something. (I sound like a joy to be around, I know.)
Looking back and now having read this book, The Big Leap, I realize what was happening. I was experiencing an upper limit problem, which is basically when we subconsciously sabotage ourselves when we pass a threshold of what we believe we deserve.
For years, I could never understand why I went from practically blissful to perpetually agitated overnight. Once the engagement ring was place on my finger I morphed into a ball of anxiety and stress, but now I realize that I was on the verge of sabotaging the best decision of my life. I was scared. Was I ready for forever? Was I ready to be a mom? How much would my life change? Would we grow together through whatever came our way?
Now, seven years later, I would happily tell myself that I don’t have to be nervous because
2. You’ll only grow to love one another more.
I loved my husband when we got married. Honestly, I couldn’t have imagined loving him more.
What I didn’t anticipate, however, was how much more I would grow to love him. Going through the ups and downs of life with someone leaves little room to hide. He has now seen me at my best and worst and loved my anyway. It would be disingenuous of me to pretend our relationship has been all sunshine and roses. It most definitely hasn’t been. We’ve been thrown some challenges that I can’t elaborate on at this time, but they’re enough to rock a relationship if not tear it apart. Thankfully, we’ve grown together in these times so I’d have to tell myself that…
3. You’ve found your rock.
My husband has shown me unconditional support and love throughout our marriage. It doesn’t matter what I look like or how I act, he’s always there for me (even when I know I probably don’t deserve it). He is very calm, level-headed, patient, and kind, and he’s helped me sort through things and cope when I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to.
4. You’ll become a better person.
I recently read that we become a combination of the five people with whom we spend the most time. While I’m not sure I totally agree with that statement, I do think we are greatly influenced by the people in our lives, which is why I’m thankful to have chosen a great man to be my husband. Through his patience and kindness, he has helped me see my shortcomings. I have become a better person and partner because of him, our children, and our life together.
5. Life’s a lot of fun with your best friend by your side.
Before I met my husband, I was afraid that if I ever got married I’d eventually run out of things to say. Thinking about having to carry on a conversation with the same person for.ev.er was a little scary. I didn’t want to become one of those couples who sits in silence over a meal or is completely disconnected.
Thankfully, no matter how much my husband’s ears may want a break, we haven’t run out of things to say one another yet. We actually spend most of our time finishing each others sentences and laughing over inside jokes. As corny as it sounds, “Love is an open door” from Frozen could totally be our second song. I actually teared up the first time I saw the movie because it reminded me so much of my husband. Who would’ve guessed (spoiler alert! lol) that Hans would be a bad guy?
6. You’re about to make the best decision of your life.
Despite my commitment phobia and the regular ups and downs of any relationship, marrying my husband was definitely the best decision I’ve ever made. I’m so thankful I jumped in and didn’t let my fears ruin this life I now have.
My goal in writing this isn’t to blab on about how wonderful my life and husband are (too late?), or act like nothing ever goes wrong but rather to say that sometimes the best decisions of our lives are those we aren’t really sure of. They can be scary, overwhelming, and push us to our limits, but I’m a firm believer that it’s those situations that really have the chance to change us for the better.
So, in the spirit of my anniversary, I thought I’d share a sweet video my husband made for me for our first Christmas together. He edited our honeymoon videos and saved all our kisses for the end where he put together our own little music video, set to our song (My Everything by Michael Buble). It’s been my favorite present now for six and a half years. 🙂
This end of that video always cracks me up because who would’ve imagined that in that beautiful setting in Paris, sitting in front of the Louvre an excavator would roll by in the background? I think’s my three-year-old’s favorite part now so maybe everything happens for a reason!
Did you have any of these (or other) worries or fears before getting married or making another big, life-altering change?